Sophomoronic Musings

Sunday, October 11, 2009

It's my space. Not yours.

This is an ode to the original social networking mecca: MySpace.
It transformed from the really cool thing to do when you were 15 in to something for middle school kids to pollute and bored college students to satirize.
This one's for you, MySpace.

Are you ready to answer these questions honestly even if it starts to get hard?
It's a MySpace survey. The questions aren't hard. They're stupid.

You never know what you got until you lose it? True or false?
If you can't appreciate what you have then you are better off not having it in the first place.

When is the last time you actually hung out with your first friend on your top?

What is the last thing you drank today?

Is there anything you would like to say to the person that you like?
Oh why yes and I think that posting it in a MySpace survey will surely get my point across.

Where would I have found you last night at 11pm?

Do you care what people think of you?
not really. That's definitely a high school thing.

Do you dislike anyone at this moment in time?
No, but if I did I would post vague clues about them in this section.

Any up coming events you're excited about?
Let's see: tests, pomping, painting, PR, Homecoming, (not) giving blood, and MySpace surveys

What's your plans for this Friday?
Teaching disabled children to ride horses and then attending a very classy bonfire.

Do you love anybody & would give up anything for them?
Yes and this is where I should declare my love for them

Have you ever slept on the floor with someone you liked?
Whoa. Personal information. What do you want? Like my life story here?

Are you texting anybody?
Why yes. Yes I am. And I hope they too are on MySpace and feel special that I am texting them and writing about them.

Where are you right now?
My dorm room. At Mizzou. In Missouri. Located in the southern region of the midwestern section of the United States. In North America. On the Earth. In the universe.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
and I want to make them feel special by writing about them right here. Helloooo there, lovely confidant!

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone & what did you talk about
Because I feel like divulging this information on the internet and I seriously think that you are going to care.

Do you curse in front of your parents?
Absolutely not. Cursing is for baaaaaaad baaaad bad people. Or those who are easily frustrated.

What would you do if your best friend told you they were moving?
It would be along the lines of this: "Why are you leaving me? Why'd you have to goooooooo" (​uncontrollable sobbing) "Nooooooooo!" (more sobbing)

Who pissed you off yesterday?
The guys walking in front of me on my way to class. You are so slow! That person who cut me off. Jerk! I hope you all read this and feel guilty. I'll accept large bouquets of pink, cream, and light purple roses in addition to a Starbucks gift cards as an apology.

Does anyone hate you?
Oh yes. I want to name them all here so that they will hate me even more.

Do you want a small or big wedding?
This is a little personal. And I totally feel like divulging this information in a survey will help me attract a potential mate. And I highly belive that I will find one of those on MySpace.

Who was the last person that could tell something was wrong with you?
The last person who could tell? I think that means that they couldn't tell. I'm guessing that would be a stranger lived in a cave and was immune to experiencing human emotions.

Can you sleep without blankets covering you?
This obviously a very important question that will help you to get toknow me on a deep, personal level.

Hold hands with anyone lately?
Uh Huh. I'm obviously 12 and think that means something really special. Maybe we'll be "going out" next week.

Do you think the last guy/girl you kissed cares for you?
Just a word to the wise, fellow MySpacers: If you kiss somebody who doesn't like you, what are you thinking?

Have you ever felt replaced?
Yes. My parents replaced me with a golden retriever puppy when I left for college. I have been depressed ever since and discuss this with my therapist at our weekly sessions.

Are you open about your feelings or closed off?
I'm filling out a MySpace survey. I'd say that means I'm fairly open.

Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Totally. And I'll name them in this section for everyone to see and gossip about it in the halls at my junior high.

Think a lot before you fall asleep?
I'm not sure about other people, but I spend most of my day thinking before I sleep at night.

What were you doing at 4am?
Sleeping. What were you doing this morning at 4?

Are you a jealous person?
Of course. I was jealous that other people were getting your attention by posting surveys, so I'm filling out one, too.

Do you like to sleep?
Sleep is necessary to functioning properly. I enjoy as much as I do breathing.

What are you looking forward to in the next 5 days?
Life. Sleep. Breathing.

How many tattoos do you have?

Do you think you are a good person?
I think the real question here is who would answer no to this question and why are we friends?

Last movie you saw in theaters, with who?
WHo goes to the movies anymore? It's called NetFlix, people.

What are you doing right now?
Ten million other things. And this survey :p
Aren't I cute?

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
In a land where I don't have to read for a history or journalism class.

What's the worst way to say "I love you"?
When you don't mean it.

What did you do yesterday?
Lived. Breathed. Slept.

What are your favorite color(s)?

How tall are you?
5' 8''

Are you happy right now?
I'm filling out a MySpace survey, so I must be practically desperate for attention. Chat with me!

Have you ever lost someone you wish you didn't?
Yes. And it was the worst thing in my life. (I would proceed to tell you about this ordeal in great detail, but I value both my time and yours, so I'll let you come up with a story to insert here)

Do you honestly have feelings for someone at the moment?
Yes. And I want to proclaim my undying love for them on Myspace.

Is there anything upsetting you?
Yes. And I feel discussing it in a survey will make me feel better.

Do you have a Facebook?
Yes. Like most college kids, I'm on Facebook. And Twitter. And Blogger. I'm basically super cool.

Ever walked in on your friends having sex?
That would be awkward!

Ever lay on a couch with the opposite sex?
I honestly believe that this survey was devised by a very bored girl in middle school. And I have just wasted 15 minutes of my life filling this out. And you just spent a few minutes reading. Sucker! Bahahahaha.

And don't forget. Repost this in 5 minutes and your TRUE LOVE will call you tonight. If you don't repost, you will be haunted by the Hash-Slinging Slasher for the rest of your life. FYI.


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